Underneath The Mask

losing my lucidity I hang beneath Cloud City
til I learn from my mistakes
left behind my master just to move a little faster
well it seems that's all it takes
you throw me out the window & I realize what I'm into
there's no ground to catch my fall
seems the best-laid plans can be severed like a hand
should I have come here after all?
you say, "join me & I'll tell you all the things that you denied
& when it comes down to it you'll be ruling at my side"

now here's to all the rebels & the ones who never settled
they were with me all along
they wandered undercover as I hungered for a lover
& I wondered what went wrong
now would I be wrong to pull your helmet off, to crack your brittle armor
to see what makes you tick cause that is what you asked
& who knows, maybe this Darth Vader is just some skinny white boy
underneath the mask

tell General Calrissian I'm endangering the mission
so I'm turning myself in
I come here not to kill you, not to save you, not to heal you
cause I can't do that again
if this were a movie all this fear would rush right through me
right now I'd take any role
the dialogue is cheesy but forgiveness is so easy
& I'm always in control
I say, "I saw the good in you, the good you tried to hide
but joining you is madness that I never could abide"


no anger, no fear
no peace, know I'm here
I'll find what I seek
what you never had - serenity
but I'm strong in the Force, now I see through your lies
cause never once did you look upon me with your own eyes

dying faceless on the floor you don't scare me anymore
I was right, I've always known
no Obi-Wan Kenobi ever warned me, ever told me
so I did this on my own
now I lay you on the pyre & I touch you with my fire
on the darkened forest moon
unsure what I've discovered but I know now that it's over
& a change is coming soon
I was the last survivor, now I'm the first of the new
& these will be the last words that I ever waste on you


What a tremendously dorky song this is...God do I love it.
It's another geek metaphor...the plot of Return Of The Jedi standing in for a progression I went through in letting go of a painful relationship...
But I like it because you can enjoy it on either level, or both.
I'm glad to say I've lived up to the strong pronouncement in the last verse...mostly!