Living In My Nightmare

both eyes open, wide awake
my nerves say fight or flight
I got nowhere to lay my head
can I sleep in your bed tonight?
you'll make room, hold me, share the covers cause it's what we always do
but I'll just lie there, restless, wrapped in what I haven't said to you

your broken arm, my broken heart
unbroken promises
your ignorance weaves cracks through me
unknowing what your story is
when all my plans are scattered, shattered through this place we claimed as ours
two broken bodies come together by the light of each other's scars

asked myself what the trouble was
& you were standing right there
gave myself for the first time
& now I'm living in my nightmare
still don't know how all this will end
still don't know, why should I care?
but I know I won't be the only one
living in my nightmare

send me home if you want to
you'd only have to ask
& touch me with your tired eyes
til I stumble through that looking glass
then you won't have to see my thoughts reflecting you, two steps behind
this mirror image taunts me, traps me in the arms of a faithless mind


killing myself for a word or a smile
I've never tied my hands like this before
& if you wanna know how far this can go
just think of all the other things I should be sorry for
so I make a list of threats, make a list of names
I'm black & blue for you every day
don't know why I do it, don't know why I mind
because it's black & white that I should walk away

twilight city, darkened house
I'm wishing I could sleep
the dreams I'd have might scare me less
than all the fears that waking keeps
I've heard our nightmares build the terrors of the future's history
if so, what was I thinking every time I've dreamed your pain back to me?


now all our plans are shattered, scattered through this place we claimed as ours
but two broken bodies still come together by the light of each other's scars

This song is hard to explain intelligently, so I'm not going to try very hard...
Suffice to say it shares inspirations with "Blue Horizon" and "Distraction".
This was the first song I'd written about the fear of love in a long time, although that was a big topic for me when I was just starting out.
Luckily this one turned out better than those first ones used to.