Hannibal Lecter

once upon a weekend
well me & my best friends
went looking for something to see
& down in the basement
we found a replacement
for prom & for late night TV
with half the room sleeping
& half the room keeping
far away from it all on the stairs
I was sixteen
I was glued to the screen
alone & intrigued by what I saw there

Hannibal Lecter
brilliant & dignified
more real than fiction could be
I was rooting for you from the beginning
what does that say about me?
it's one thing to get at her through the glass
another to get under my skin
but what can I say, I'm fascinated
after lunch then the game can begin

so now turning corners
I see you before us
your voice is the noise in my mind
another obsession
for ruthless repression
horrific but still almost kind
& maybe it's easy
& a lot more pleasing
if we hold you up instead of what's true
cause we look in the mirror
we search for a hero
but all we come up with is you


how far will you go?
what more can you do?
what kind of sin do you need to commit
for me to stop admiring you?

& now some years later
my path gets no straighter
but you dig your way deeper each time
like the other day
I heard the newspaper say
there was a fugitive eluding his crime
pursued through three states
making narrow escapes
& fooling all those who stood in his way
& it took me a minute
before I'd admit it
I was hoping he would get away

Hannibal Lecter
twisted & so polite
better than evil should be
yeah, I cheer for the bad guy from the beginning
what does that say about me?
it's one thing to smile at you on celluloid
another to endorse it for real
but what can I say, it's complicated
I'm afraid of how you make me feel


Written: Winter 2001, age 18.
I was really obsessed with this character for the longest time...
I do have a tendency to cheer for the bad guy, if he's more interesting than the hero (which is too often).