Boxing Day

I don't wanna be here waiting to be fed
I wanna be at my house, I wanna be in bed
I don't wanna suffer through another day like that
where I don't ever grow up, I just grow old & grow fat
they're gonna make me say that prayer that says nothing at all
cause it's all we can agree on with our faith against the wall
when I was a baby they already knew what they still think
now I need some perspective, a nap, & also a drink

I don't wanna gladhand these folks I never see
they ask me the same questions 'bout who I wanna be
I don't wanna explain every picture on the shelf
they wanna know these answers that I don't know myself
they're gonna make me see that aunt with the plastic Jesus pin
she'll quote scripture like the devil while she's frowning at my sin
when I was a child her tales of hell kept me up at night
now she learns of my music & wants me to see the light

& she asks me did I ever write a song about the Lord
I wanna say they're all about the Lord one way or another
I wanna say a word or two about the things that I believe
but I can't cause I'm getting dirty looks from my mother
I wanna say I never found the map to God in your church or in your Bible
but I know that she is present & she is near
& I don't believe you have the right or the wisdom to judge me anyway
but instead I just smile & tell her what she wants to hear

I don't know what it is about this time & place
returns me to a child to yearn for my own space
I don't know who they are, perhaps I never will
so for now I'm in my corner with hours left to kill
& yes I guess I've missed you all but I miss myself too
& I know there's not enough of me to please each one of you
now that I am grown I kiss each stranger as I stand alone
& I promise to write but I won't, I'm just going home

Sometimes it's hard to visit your family knowing they will never really see you as an adult...
but it's even harder to take the steps that will encourage them to begin seeing you as such.